Tice Wilkerson
Dr. Schaller
Management
1/23/18
Mentor Blog 1
Recently, I was able to sit down and connect with a longtime mentor of mine, Chris Behrmann. Chris began investing in me when I was in the 8th grade through a church program by inviting me to be a part of his small group. Our families had known each other distantly but he was determined to get to know me on a deeper level. He has mentored me through high school and even into college. Chris is an incredibly athletic dad in his 40's; he spent his college years playing soccer at Clemson. Chris is also a very busy pharmaceutical salesman. I am incredibly thankful for the time he takes away from his wife, kids, and work to invest in me. Most recently, Chris and I sat down to get breakfast. We spent a good deal of time just catching up before we got into serious conversation. One of the things I most appreciate about Chris and meeting with him is that there is never a strict agenda or schedule, rather, good conversation and teaching occurs naturally. We began to discuss the chaos and extreme of school and sports and how that can put a strain on our walk with God. Chris explained one of the biggest things we can do is completely submit control to God and let go of our own agenda. We then talked about parenting, and what that looked like with children involved in sports. Chris explained to me that it is easy as a parent to get caught up in a child's abilities and talents and see those as idols or a way to compete with other parents. He gave a personal example of having to pull his sons out of the top soccer group they were placed in, so that the family could have more of a life. He explained that while a little difficult, it was the right decision because the boys are still able to play, but without the increased demand of practice and traveling schedules. His boys are extremely talented athletically, thus the decision he made required a great deal of humility. While this was casual conversation and I am very far from being a parent, hearing him talk about this made me think about potentially similar future situations with my children and how I may handle them through balancing my kids sports or extracurriculars and not identifying myself in their talents. The last topic of discussion that we embarked on was Chris's new writings he has been working on for Christian men. Clearly, it is difficult to find time to write as a father, businessman, and husband; however, Chris feels the Lord has put material on his heart to share with others. He asked for accountability in his writings so that he may not lose sight of it or become distracted. This touched me because it was humbling to see that even a great mentor needs someone to keep them accountable sometimes. I look forward to Chris publishing his works so that I may use them as daily nourishment to further my relationship with Christ.
I think that it very much was a huge sign of humility to remember the focus of family being the most important and taking his children out of the elitist kind of group in athletics. My family didn't make that decision in a similar situation and as I look back, I wish it had been made the way that your mentor, Chris, did for his family. That really shows me how even people who seem to have it all together might lose focus of what's supposed to be "having it all" which is a Christ centered life and he shows the value in relationships on earth and how that's all we will be able to take with us to heaven.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate his vulnerability in telling you that he needs to be held accountable too. Like Coachie said we need a life relay, just because you get older in life doesn't mean you know everything..we need people in our lives to hold us accountable regardless of the stages we're in.
Tice, I appreciate your post! Chris does a good job doing one of the most difficult tasks we face in adult life-- finding balance. The problem his kids face is a problem that is deeply rooted in our values: to what extent should we pursue worldly success (in athletics, academics, monetarily, etc.)? At what point does it become too much? Ecclesiastes 11:9 is a good benchmark for me. We're meant to enjoy the good fruits of this life, but to remember as well that judgment ultimately awaits, and as a consequence we must live in righteousness and with servant hearts. The two ideas aren't antithetical.
ReplyDeleteDid he offer any specific ideas for accountability, and ensuring that values of things like relationships are maintained?
Tice, it sounds like your mentor is doing an excellent job of being very genuine! Something that I found interesting when I talked with my mentor is that she shared as much about her struggles as I shared about mine, and it sounds like your conversation with Chris went in a very similar direction. It is through that genuineness that both people involved can really start to benefit from a mentor-mentee relationship. The fact that he shared insights into the struggles he experiences as an adult is valuable, because he is not just trying to help you in the present; he is also encouraging you to look ahead. Through his willingness to share his own shortcomings as well as his act of requesting accountability, it sounds like Chris has a lot of respect for you! I hope this mentor-mentee relationship continues to be a blessing to both of you.
ReplyDeleteTice, I loved what you said about "Chris explained one of the biggest things we can do is completely submit control to God and let go of our own agenda." I feel like we lose sight of this when we go through life with tunnel vision and forget that God is always right beside us. I also loved that your mentor asked you for accountability too, I think that's a great model of a healthy mentor-mentee relationship.
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