Mentor Blog 2 - Drawing Near

When I chose my mentor and the kind of conversations I wanted to have, I didn't quite anticipate the fact that most of what we've talked about is on a far deeper personal level than I want to share on this platform.  This, of course, makes writing these posts a little difficult, since the vast majority of our most recent meeting was spent delving into the most painful parts of my story and their effects on how I operate now.

There was one thing that Frances said that I will share, since I haven't been able to shake it since we last met.  She reminded me that Jesus did not isolate himself from people, even though he knew their sin and brokenness even better than they themselves did.  His very own inner circle contained one who betrayed him for money, one who denied him, and others that scattered in fear in the most trying moment.  It would be one thing if Jesus had chosen these people thinking that they would be perfectly faithful in everything, but they failed him in the normal human course of things.  Such was not the case.  He chose them in spite of their shortcomings, which he certainly knew.  He drew near instead of keeping them at a distance.

Any betrayal or rejection that I have experienced pales in comparison to what Jesus experienced from his closest companions.  So how can I justify my habits of avoiding people on the slightest hunch that they may fail me?  News flash: people inevitably fail each other at some point.  I'm sure I have been blind to the ways that I have failed others, since I have spent so much of the last few years dwelling on how I have been hurt and how to minimize the likelihood of experiencing that again (i.e. become a recluse).  There's not much more I can say on the subject without getting into specifics, so I'll leave it here.  I can only close with gratefulness for the Lord's gentleness in guiding me as I learn about myself and what it means to live Christian-ly in regards to other people.