During this meeting, my mentor went out to get some food off
campus which was nice because I haven’t had enough time to eat out recently. Lately,
I’ve also been skipping meals because of my responsibilities with Orientation
Committee, Chapel Band, and tutoring a student. All of this is a testament to
the hectic 2nd Semester/B-Quad I’ve been experiencing which I got to
talk to my mentor about. It was nice to have someone to listen to me and show
an interest in how I was doing emotionally and spiritually. I feel like it’s
hard sometimes to express how I’m feeling without being judged. In other words,
if I were to express my frustrations, worries, or insecurities about my life,
it could possibly come off as bragging about how busy and involved I am which I
feel like is common in Wheaton College culture where everyone is expected to be
involved, busy, or studying. It was comforting to have someone listen with an
actual concern for my well-being without judgement or pre-conceived notions and
it also released a lot of built up stress.
I talked about how balancing so many responsibilities can be
taxing and how I’ve been neglecting to take of myself which I think is
important. My mentor gave me this quote as advice which was “you can’t give out
of an empty bowl.” Which I thought was interesting because to me it seems like balancing
your responsivities is more important than taking care of yourself. But I learned
that it is actually the care you have for yourself that allows you serve others
or do your best with those responsibilities. It put things into perspective for
me and put self-care on a higher standing than I would have otherwise.
We also talked about self-confidence. I tend to be really
hard on myself which might come from my perfectionist nature. But even when I
do a good job at something, I always think about ways I could have done better
or dissatisfied that I didn’t measure up to a certain expectation. But my mentor
talked to me about being proud of my own successes because we sometimes forget
to be proud of ourselves when we see others doing just as much or even better.
We should still be able to be proud of ourselves in the midst of other people’s
successes which really challenged me and wanted me to try to change that aspect
about myself.
I really liked reading about how you and your mentor talked about how you were doing emotionally and spiritually. I think that sometimes, we try to keep ourselves busy and that can lead us to push our emotional health and spiritual life off to the side because we feel the need to focus more on our worldly priorities. It can also be a hard topic to bring up to people and ask about so I think it’s really nice that you and your mentor were able to discuss it so openly with each other.
ReplyDeleteBeing a perfectionist is a blessing and a curse! Always know that your identity is in Christ and not a completed job or task at hand. keep getting victories and keep finding pride in those W's!
ReplyDeleteWheaton College can be an intense and overwhelming place. People are always expecting you to be productive even though you may need rest. No matter how many groups/clubs your a part of God loves you abundantly no matter what. Keep working hard but if you don't do it perfectly, no sweat.
ReplyDeleteI think being a perfectionist and desiring to have things a certain way can be a strength. I think that a balance between wanting to produce good/perfect work also requires understanding that were human, and therefore not perfect, so we cant always produce the perfect work that we envision when starting a project or work. I really like the advice your mentor gave you about being proud of your own success. Being proud of the work i do isnt something that comes easy so i think thats something i also can practice.
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