Mentor conversation #2

I entered into my second mentor conversation without a clear idea of what I wanted to talk about. Mrs. VanHuis and I began with small talk; we shared about how our weekends had gone, and I told her about a burnt orange leg warmer that I knitted as a part of my collection of knit Christmas gifts that I am making (being a poor college student, one must sometimes get creative).

Then we moved on to some more serious topics of conversation. I told her about I book I have been reading, titled The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I shared with her my skepticism towards the book, which mostly revolves around an almost instinctive mistrust of any attempt to make prayer formulaic. I then asked her about the influences in her life that had helped her learn how to pray. She shared with me that one of the most important influences on her prayer life came when she listened to the genuine prayers of others. We then went on to discuss our attitudes towards prayer, including but not limited to our tendency to feel sheepish about asking God for big things after lapses in our prayer lives, a propensity to sit around feeling guilty about the fact that we haven’t prayed for a while instead of actually praying, and an overall desire to appear better than we are when we go to God in prayer, even despite the fact that God knows every detail of our personal failings.

After this we began to talk about some conflicts between me and my father that had occurred over the course of spring break. Mrs. VanHuis herself had a difficult relationship with her own father even into adulthood, and as a result, she was able to give me some valuable insight into understanding and relating to my father. She suggested the possibility that perhaps the reason he does not offer much praise over my accomplishments and shows minimal interest in my activities is because, in his mind, the greatest way he knows to show love is by providing for our family, a suggestion that made a lot of sense. After listening patiently as I ranted about my frustrations, she acknowledged that much of what I said was legitimate. However, she suggested that perhaps I should examine my own personal behaviors in order to learn what I also might be doing to exacerbate the situation. Finally, her most valuable suggestion was that I take the time to pray for my father. Although this is intuitive and is something I know I should be doing, her encouragement acted as a reality check; if I truly believe that God listens to prayer, then prayer is the obvious solution to the issues I am facing.

This conversation also helped to remind me that, even though my family may not be perfect, God decided to place me with them; my father is my father by God’s decision, and must believe that God had a purpose in making that choice.